The argument for hurling rocks from a glass dwelling

By Nicholas Kristof

When she finally seized the opportunity to face her rapist in a courtroom, she showed no fear. “What you did was wrong,” she addressed the pastor. “Don’t repeat that with any other girl.”

And he won’t. At 74, he received a 20-year prison sentence for assaulting her and other victims. However, the trauma remains for the small, delicate Kenyan girl with braids who endured repeated abuse at the hands of the pastor when she was only 7.

“I believed him because he claimed to be a man of God,” she recounted. Now at 13, she admits she didn’t grasp what he was inflicting upon her. Yet she understood it was painful, and she felt terrified when he threatened, “If you inform your parents, I’ll kill you.”

Certainly, violence against women is a grave issue in the United States as well. Yet, America has seen some strides, while in numerous countries, a veil of silence continues to perpetuate such violence. This represents one of the significant ethical challenges of our era, and we should exert bipartisan American global leadership to combat it. President-elect Donald Trump has made promising statements regarding prioritizing the fight against human trafficking and child exploitation, and this presents an opportunity to follow through.

According to a recent United Nations report, an estimated 51,000 women and girls were murdered globally by their partners or family members last year — the equivalent of a significant conflict. The highest number of these femicides, along with the highest per capita rate, was found in Africa, according to the U.N.

In Nairobi, a survey indicated that a majority of women in the vast network of alleys comprising the Kibera slum had their first sexual experience as rape. UNICEF reported this year a worldwide survey revealing that by age 18, one-third of girls in Oceania and 22% of girls in Africa had experienced sexual assault; a notable, though smaller, number of boys had also faced sexual violence.

Discussing problems associated with other cultures can feel uncomfortable. Are we being hypocritical? Are we flawed messengers when our president-elect was found liable for sexual abuse in court? If I voice my concerns, am I just a white savior indulging in Western cultural imperialism?

My wife, Sheryl WuDunn, offers an insightful reply when Americans are accused of cultural imperialism. As a Chinese American, she points out that her grandmother had bound feet and expresses gratitude that Westerners condemned foot binding, imposing their values and saving future generations of Chinese girls from such a fate.

We must possess the humility to recognize that we have yet to resolve these issues in the United States. However, at least we openly discuss them, breaking taboos — and casting stones from within a glass house is still better than remaining silent while women and girls are attacked and murdered in alarming numbers worldwide.

At a shelter named Kara Olmurani in Nairobi, I met the girl who had been raped by the pastor. (The girls in this account requested anonymity, which I have respected.) The shelter, a lively house behind a tall wall at the town’s outskirts, is home to 18 girls who have experienced sexual abuse and five young children conceived through rape. A sign in the living room reads: I am a girl, smart, strong, and beautiful. When I visited, the girls were celebrating with masks and colorful braids for their holiday party, their joy a testament to human resilience.

Kara Olmurani was founded by Terry Gobanga, a Kenyan minister who was abducted in Nairobi on her wedding day in 2004. The assailants gang-raped and stabbed her before discarding her from a moving vehicle. While Gobanga’s friends gathered for her wedding, she lay unconscious, fighting for her life in a hospital.

After her recovery and marriage seven months later, Gobanga resolved to assist others experiencing sexual violence and transformed her home into a shelter. I wrote about Kara two years ago, and readers of The Times contributed $120,000, enabling the organization to expand and establish a branch in Malawi as well.

While raising awareness is crucial, it can also incite a backlash that exacerbates the problem (as observed with denunciations of female genital mutilation). The most effective approach is for Americans to back organizations advocating for change from within the culture and provide them with a platform.

This provides the background for my admiration for Kenyan organizations like Kara Olmurani and Shining Hope for Communities (which seeks to empower residents of Nairobi’s slums, particularly girls). Both organizations support victims while collaborating with the police to ensure that offenders are brought to justice.

Even amid a time of deep division among Americans, we should still join forces to put an end to the impunity surrounding violence against women and girls. A noteworthy example has been the successful bipartisan efforts to address human trafficking, uniting liberal feminists and conservative evangelicals. Over the past 25 years, Republicans and Democrats have collaborated to decrease the number of girls sold into modern slavery in countries like Cambodia and the Philippines.

This was a humanitarian success — yet Congress allowed the landmark anti-trafficking legislation to expire in 2021. It needs to be swiftly reinstated.

Congress should also approve the long-delayed bipartisan International Violence Against Women Act, which would create a State Department office focusing on women’s issues and elevate the significance of gender violence matters.

At Kara Olmurani, a young girl with braids broke my heart. She wore a bracelet that said “joy,” but as she recounted her story, tears soon streamed down her face.

A man had assaulted her in the fields when she was 12, and he raped her so violently that she sustained an internal injury known as a fistula, resulting in incontinence. She has undergone seven surgeries to mend the damage.

“Men need to have self-control,” she said sincerely. “They should be taught not to harm children.”

She took a moment to breathe deeply and regain her composure. “And if he harms a girl, he should face consequences.”

I truly hope Congress takes notice. One of the monumental moral conflicts of this century centers on human trafficking and violence against women; why would Americans of any political affiliation choose to remain passive on the sidelines?

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